Unbound

Captivated by the subtle hues that dance upon the horizon, as if a floor that upholds the graceful sways of the elegant, I am once again moved by the working grace of a God who knows no bounds; who is free to be God, and who, by virtue of His grace and freedom, has caused me to be free myself, both within and without. I was chained by the perpetual lust of the world, caught betwixt a broken image of self and other, and the necessary hunger for all things wicked and untrue. But it was His free grace that liberated me from the cords that so suffocated my existence under the weight of deadly burdens and twisted hurts.

Indeed, man cannot come to truth by virtue of his own faculties; it is truth that is revealed to man. And I was set free by this truth that so easily traced the contours of my own mind and heart, revealing, as it were, the bashful and unadulterated disconnect between the two, and began to mend it as only medicine “from on high” could do.

God’s enfleshment exalts the mystery of God and reveals God. This is the very destruction of paradox, and it is the very medicine my soul needed.

I met God in the face of Jesus Christ.

On Love and Relationships

From "Called to Love: Approaching John Paul II's Theology of the Body"

Like sensuality, sentiments alone are blind to the value of the person. Think of how lovers tend to idealize their beloved. Their incapacity to see a loved one's defects is symptomatic of a deeper and much more dangerous blindness. Instead of loving the actual flesh-and-blood person before them, they love an idealized object whose value they gauge exclusively by their own subjective reactions to it. Such idealization does not exalt the beloved but actually degrades his or her true dignity, for it overlooks the real person, who is much more than the feelings that he or she awakens in us.

If love were simply a matter of feelings, lovers would ultimately remain divided from each other, in spite of all their efforts and protests to the contrary. Sentiment, like sensuality, also points beyond itself to a higher level of love that mere feelings cannot attain. Sentiment points to affirmation of the value of the person, but by itself it is incapable of appreciating this value, because this level of relationship transcends the world of feelings. The fullness of love requires what Karol Wojtyla [Pope John Paul II] calls the "affirmation of the person," which, as we will now see, involves a shift to a higher dimension of reality beyond the reach of mere feeling.

The attraction to another person based on feelings needs to mature into a yes to the value of the person him- or herself. Take, for example, Adam's love for Eve. This love needs to ripen into an affirmation of the worth that she possesses as a person independently of how he happens to feel about her. True love is not based alone on Eve's good qualities or on the splendid feelings she arouses in Adam, but on the marvelous fact that she simply is the particular person she is. To love truly is to keep on loving even on the bad days when sadness, annoyance, or ill humor temporarily drive those happier emotions out of our minds.

The affirmation of the person incorporates sensuality and sentiment, while at the same time going deeper than either of them can delve. It penetrates to the bedrock that alone is solid enough to support a stable relationship of love with another person. So long as we remain within the confines of mere sentiment, we can't say yes without reserve, because we are still at the mercy of the fluctuation of feelings whose very nature is to come and go. Only when love has discovered and affirmed the person for what he or she is can the lover say yes forever.

To remain within the realm of feeling is to be stuck in yourself, to be a prisoner of your perceptions of, and reactions to, the world. If we submit ourselves to sentiment as our absolute rule, we will fall into what Karol Wojtyla calls the "egoism of the feelings." By contrast, when we finally break through to the affirmation of another person for his or her own sake, when we finally learn to accept the beloved's dignity as someone other than ourselves, our existence is enriched by the new presence we thereby let into our inner world.

How few are the lovers of the Cross of Jesus (From The Imitation of Christ)

Jesus has many lovers of his heavenly Kingdom, but few bearers of his cross. He has many seekers of consolation, but few of suffering. He finds many companions at his feasting, but few at his fasting. All desire to rejoice with him; few are willing to endure anything for him. Many follow Jesus as far as the breaking of the bread, but few to the drinking of the cup of his passion. Many reverence his miracles, but few will follow the shame of his cross. Many love Jesus as long as no adversities come upon them. Many praise and bless him as long as they receive some consolation from him. But if Jesus hides himself and leaves them only for a brief time, they begin to complain or become overly despondent in mind.

The Promise of Atheism

Who thought that following the Messiah of God would lead to extreme doubt? When the Apostles chose to walk instep with Jesus of Nazareth, they, I am sure, did not expect glory to be couched in suffering; they did not expect the King of kings to be condemned, spat upon and crucified by the political and religious powers of Rome and the Temple. They envisioned something much greater than the cross. They hoped for a messiah that would take the reigns of the Kingdom and crush the opposition; to destroy those who dehumanize the people of God! To choose to follow the messiah and leave all things behind is to – according to the imagination of most – choose glory, honor, power and socio-political and economic redemption! The Messiah comes as the son of David, not the son of Joseph. Messiah Ben David! Messiah Ben Yosef?

But who knew that scripture would stand the test of time?

“See, My servant will act wisely; He will be raised and lifted up and greatly exalted. Just as many were appalled at you – His appearance was so disfigured that He did not look like a man, and His form did not resemble a human being – so He will sprinkle many nations. Kings will shut their mouths because of Him, for they will see what had not been told them, and they will understand what they had not heard.” (Isaiah 52:13-15)

“He had no form or splendor that we should look at Him, no appearance that we should desire Him. He was despised and rejected by men, a man of suffering who knew what sickness was. He was like one people turned away from; He was despised, and we didn’t value Him. Yet He Himself bore our sicknesses, and He carried our pains; but we in turn regarded Him stricken, struck down by God, and afflicted. But He was pierced because of our transgressions, crushed because of our iniquities; punished for our peace was on Him, and we are healed by His wounds. We all went astray like sheep; we all have turned to our own way; and the LORD has punished Him for the iniquity of us all.” (Isaiah 53: 2b-6)

Instead of overcoming the powers that be, their Messiah was crushed by them. Instead of having their expectations actualized in the person of Jesus, the disciples were given the promise of the cross. They hoped for a Messiah that would be the personification of the promise of God in power, but His brokenness was a veil to their weak eyes.

Yes, they were given the promise of the cross.

They watched as their messiah was bleeding from a Roman cross. Imagine! What a failure! What a disaster! What a hopeless and ugly station in life!

They were confronted with a dead promise. They saw their promise, the promise of God (!), crucified. Their promise was pierced with a Roman spear. Their promise was clothed in the garment of the dead and was taken to a grave. Alas, their promise was buried!

And for three days the disciples of the dead promise died the death of atheism.

Who could believe in a dead promise? How can faith be anchored in dead flesh? Indeed, the disciples tasted doubt afresh. Their God has failed them. Their God has died! The Son of the Father was in the belly of the earth. The authorities of oppression and angst have won. Their Messiah seemed to be a microcosm of the macrocosm of Jewish history: oppression after oppression, death after death.

Three long days. This is the promise of the cross. This is the promise of atheism.

Do you bare your cross? Do you taste of doubt afresh? Has your promise of life turned out to be a dead promise?

This is the promise of the cross.

To wrestle with doubt and fear, brokenness and confusion, is to bare the cross. There is no way out of this. This is what it means to die with Christ.

But don’t worry. Three days is not forever…

“For it has been given to you on Christ’s behalf not only to believe in Him, but also to suffer for Him, having the same struggle that you saw I had and now hear about me.” (Philippians 1:29, 30)

“My goal is to know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings, being conformed to His death, assuming that I will somehow reach the resurrection from among the dead.” (Philippians 3:10, 11)

Sin

I have come to realize that the beauty of the Lord is indeed Holiness. Sin has this way of making a man blind to all things that are of true value and worth. The disease of sin completely renders the eyes of the beholder to be perpetually turned inward, which, consequently brings about the heightened concern of self over and against the other. The beholder no longer possesses the capability of gazing at true beauty; the entirety of the created order is hidden from his eyes. Selfishness becomes the cursed home of the exocentric being called human, thus it is sin that is the ultimate form of dehumanization. How could selfishness ever understand the ontology of love? How could self-inwardness ever comprehend the fountain of all exocentric beings? How could death ever comprehend life?

But it is the great Life which has come to die that overthrows death with all its inwardness, for Life has died in order to undo death. Death no longer marks the ontology of the Universe, for the totality of reality has been reconciled to Life in the Resurrection of Life. The energies of liberty and freedom have set asunder the dark night of the cosmos on that day when the Galilean Jew died on the Roman Cross.

“Christ died and came to life for this: that He might rule over both the dead and the living.” Romans 14:9

On the Cross… In the Tomb

At the moment of creation, all that is was palpable by angelic eyes, for all that is was in one infinitesimal point at T = 0. Words cannot begin to handle the job of articulating that moment because - at that moment - doxology is the only thing that makes sense. Worship is the only reaction that can occur at such an event.

And the angels, all the celestial beings fashioned by God both small and great, did worship. They saw the totality of the created order, save themselves, being birthed into existence out of the Infinite Being that is the One who is Triunity. They watched as all the forces of the universe began to separate, coalesce, and animate the first rays of light out of the bosom of the deep as time itself became a part of the economy of creaturehood. They watched as photons streamed pass one another and the cosmic soup cool to form matter, visible and invisible, bringing to being all manner of exotic particles. Gravity springs into existence, galactic nuclei begin to form, stars and planets are released from the stellar nursery of nebulae, and all is being shaped out of chaos into order.

The eyes of angels beheld this. And they beheld the mystery of the pattern; that is, the order being sealed by the Logos of God.

There was another moment that occurred. This time this was a moment embedded in history; a moment in time and not before it.

The eyes of angels beheld this. And they beheld this mystery as eclipsing that of the first mystery at the first few moments of creation. How could this be? What could possibly overshadow the mystery, even the power and majesty, of the first moments of creation?

The eyes of angels beheld this, this time along side the eyes of man. All living creatures were in close proximity to this mystery that exceeded the mystery of the first.

And these eyes wept.

“Logos crucified! Reason killed! Blessed is he who finds hope in the hopeless carcass that adorns the splintered tree! Unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given, and, behold, the governments of the world are on his shoulders! We are confronted with the paradox of paradoxes; we are torn asunder by the birthing of insanity! Couched in flesh, the desire of the ages is dead on a Roman cross! What madness can this be? How can the fashioner and sustainer of the entire whole world be impaled by the thorns of soil and the metal of mountains? Did he not communicate the molecular structures of those elements into existence?”

Behold the mystery that exceeds the mystery of creation. Behold the New Creation!

To the tomb he goes, once alive and now dead. King of earth buried therein. Holy is the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world.

He sleeps the sleep of death… but not for long…

The Night before the Cross

Do you feel it?

Can you perceive it?

The One who articulated the Cosmos into being, fashioned the wrinkles in the fabric of space and time, and threaded the Universe with dark matter; is the one who is having a Passover Seder with his bro’s.

Can the world be encapsulated in the kiss of a betrayer? And can the velvet night, the dark abode of the lonely carpenter, bespeak of the hour of our travail?

All of time ceases to find meaning in that moment at the garden of bloody sweat. The garden moment is anchored in the garden moment at the beginning of creation.

Adam gave in

Last Adam took in

Can you feel it?

Can you perceive it?

Swirling in the dark, deep, scary night; the angelic, celestial beings sent from the Ancient of Days beheld the Fashioner of the world of worlds. Before their eyes stands the Unmovable Mover moved in human passion and human fear. A thought cannot hold within it the incomprehensibility of the God of god’s bleeding because of panic, worry, and terror; blood on the brow of the Eternal One.

Sanctified blasphemy; anointed curse!

Before this, he washed our feet. Before all of this… he washed our feet.

Christ denier. Behold, his feet are being washed!

Christ doubter. Behold, his feet are being washed

The service of a slave… done by the King of Creation.

They find him in the garden. They bind him in the garden. They drag him from the garden.

The night is spent before earthly judges.

The Judge of humanity is being judged by man.

The cross is before him…

Lusting for God

It’s funny how Christians lust after the God behind the cross.

The cross is ugly, and the God on the cross is an ugly God; dead carcass and ready-to-rot flesh. Who wants that God? Who wants the God who is not aesthetically pleasing, a God who is ugly? Nah, no one wants that!

Only a fool would really want to worship a God that chooses the stupid strategy of becoming “one” with His creation; a God who chooses to die is nothing more than an unsophisticated, ridicules God! How silly would that idea be? How unrealistic, counterintuitive, and unproductive this sort of movement of a God would be! No way!

Who would want a dead God? “God is dead!” exclaims Nietzsche, this cold and pessimistic philosopher. Surely he must have been one who truly worshiped this sort of God on the cross (though, of course, he did not; he was an atheist).

Who would want a ready-to-rot God? Flesh and blood… bone and mangled meat is no figure of a God. No! This can’t be!

Who would want a God who bleeds? A God who is so ugly to the human eye and mind? A God who can be buried?! A God that is repulsive, nauseating, broken and weak?

Absolutely not.

No!

Give me the God that is “behind the cross.” Give me the omnipotent, all together sexy and sophisticated God who can flex and destroy matter in an instant! Give me the God who speaks worlds into existence, a God who fashions the cosmos with star-shattering black holes, fastens the universe with rips in the fabric of space-time; a God who adorns the universe with cataclysmic happenings, super-luminous stars and intergalactic planets moving at speeds that reach a million miles a minute!

Give me the God that heals broken bodies and minds, not a God who has these ailments! I want the exulted God, high and lifted up, the God of the Bishop and Pope, Pastor and Elder, of gold, of power, of ruling authority; a God who is worth bowing down to.

Forget this God that can be articulated in the Eucharist!

Give me the God who gives me gifts, who blesses me, who fixes my problems, who stretches out His hands and causes the seas to be split! Not a God who wants me to follow Him in brokenness, drowning in my own sea of hurt and pain!

I want the One who adorns and sanctifies worthy love and shuns hate, not a weak one who calls me to love what should be hated and hate what should be loved!

No!

Of this desire, and of those lips who utter these words, this is the way of the pseudo Christian.

Follow God and die well.

Follow god and live in death.

You choose.

Fractured

I am fractured.
Wholeness is the greater me being merged into the lesser ‘I am’ in love and truth.
Reconciliation is my desire.
I want to reconnect with myself.
I am split in two; portioned into three; broken into four; shattered in infinite pieces.
I am so because I forgot what love is.

And then I see again myself in Him… and I am reminded that I am whole. I am healed. I am me.

Pealing back the layers of my sin, I am shown that I, myself, am but intense, concentrated energy, intricately put together with the purpose to live out of myself in the here and now, in the hope of the there and then, and in the strength of His love, His altogether, perpetually profound, and seemingly simple love.

I am here. Yet I struggle with being here. I am free. Why do I find myself, then, bound to brokenness?

I am

I am

I am


Yet not I… but He; Trinity couched in me, I in Him.

When I eat, I do not eat. When I teach, I do not teach. When I laugh, I do not laugh. I am busy with many things all at once. I miss the here and now.

God, the Eternal One, dwells in the now. Satan, the false one, abides in the lie of divided attention.

Some Brief Thoughts while waiting for class to start...

Lord, I desire to see myself in You, caught up in intense and beautiful love, and expressing that reality through the body you adorned me.

Oh God, save me from my poverty by teaching me to embrace it. For how can I find myself in You, if I don't learn how to hang on the Cross?

Swallow me in Your depths and cause me to bask in Your Simplicity. I want to fall in love with You again...
My 'self' is in the way of Your Selfless Love.

God You are the Other I so eagerly seek; Holiness is the golden Cord that binds me to thee, a cord firmly established in the blood of Jesus

Healing is the kiss of God granted by a quiet grace and affirmed by the beating heart of Christ.

Help me, Father, to walk in Your Trancendent Powe by learning how to be the lowest of Your creatures. Service is the gate to celestial establishment, and meekness the door to secret reality.



~~~>>> Cruciform is the Form of God!<<<~~~

"How do I be like God my Father?"

"You must die like your Brother Jesus. Like Father, like Son."

Paradoxically, the path to humanization is dehumanization of the sons and daughters of God like that of the Son of God. This, however, must not be blind dehumanization (i.e. suffering for nothing, but a "purposeful suffering").

...

Hymn to the Incarnate One and Afterthoughts

Come, dear Lord, and see us in our brokenness.

To the broken may your love come

“I will come to the broken”

Come, dear Lord, and help us in our brokenness.

To the broken may your love come

“I will come to the broken with brokenness, full of love and shattered by hate”

Come, dear Lord, and help us in our sorrow

To the sorrowful may your love come

“I will come to the sorrowful with tears Divine, full of mercy and done through your pain”

This is God, a God who is moved, though never moved, by the burden of creatures.

This is our Lord, a Supreme who humbles Himself lower than His subjects.

What is love?

This is love.

God’s service to humanity in Jesus Christ is the way humanity is to serve one another

Let us be great in our service for one another!

Let us be small in our pride.

Am I to be seen by others? Only in loving service!

May people see me below, never above.

May people see me as empty for the One who is full

Chase away the fear of losing status my God.

Burn the lust from my eyes.

Whip me afresh, calling me in discipline.

May I always give thanks to Thee!

Amen

Have mercy on me Lord Jesus

Holiness

She kissed me upon my brow, causing me to realize beauty where I thought never possible. “What is this garb you adorn, fair one?” I asked, curious as to see how “HOLINESS” can be so stunning to my fleshly eyes. “This is the dress of my nature. Many think of me from afar as one who is vile and dirty simply because they know me as one who is so lofty and contrary to what they think their own natures can handle. But those people fail to realize that their nature is actually the same as mine: holy.”

I replied in utter astonishment, thinking this one is indeed confused about the matter. “Of course you don’t actually believe, oh HOLINESS, that you are really our inner nature, do you? This would be mad!” “It would seem as such” she replied, “but the fact is thus: I am really just like you. Deep within your heart of hearts, though so buried under the rubbish you accumulate in your everyday existence, of sin and disgust, I am in fact just like you.”

“How could this be?” I retorted, thinking she was fully insane, “This is impossibility actualized in your speech, for there is no way your nature is really my own inside me. I am a wretch! I am ugly! Far from ‘HOLINESS’, the fact of the matter is that I am the slut of the world, sleeping with all the lusts of my heart and mind! I care not for the things of HOLINESS, yet you are saying I am such? Insanity most definitely is your portion fair one.”

But she, listening to me intently and with all calmness, simply smiled as to say I am the one really mistaken; and she looked up with her soft and unbelievably beautiful eyes, and asked the Father to enlighten my heart. All of a sudden, like lightening flashing from the east to the west, my eyes were filled with the glorious image of the one who so faithfully perished on that tree. Under this glorious and horrific sight, these words were marked:

Holy Spirit filled, fallen flesh killed; King of kings and Lord of lords ripped apart for our bill. How can He, the One before time, the One beyond space, die 33AD on a tree?

“Yes, now I remember this one who died such a sad and terrible death on that cross. I am amazed that this injustice was done to such a man! And I bet his life was one of simplicity, truth and value.”

“Yes it was” said her, “and yet this apparent misfortune nonetheless happened. But do you remember that you chose to follow in his way?” I was startled at the thought. Would I ever follow such a one, ending in such a tragic way? I shuddered at the idea, but something deep within me affirmed her words. “I don’t remember making that commitment, fair one, but within my heart of hearts there is agreement to your words. How could this be?”

“You have lost sight, Christian, of the One whom you were supposed to follow. This is why you don’t believe me when I say I am the same as your very nature. You have become so much like the fallen ones, so much like the crooked and twisted ones. You forgot your name.”

Death

I rather die a thousand deaths than to be totally separated from Your presence.

Yet I sin.

What madness consumes my flesh; yes, what utter insanity grips my abode and sends me into the despair called night, alone and cold….?

I sin the more.

“A prophetic rebellion will be the motif of my soul, for I will shift and move to the song of Your heart my God!”

Yet sin abounds continually.

I am stuck. You are free. I, oh Lord, am one with the dust of death; You, and You alone, the igniter of my heart. “Who can praise your name from the grave?” Can You make me dance again Lord? Can You animate this broken winged creature, that I may fly to Mount Zion where Your smile and penetrating gaze can heal me? Can You clean this polluted river that is me, forever shifting by the elements of this world rather than Your will, ceaselessly searching for the source of all rivers?

I look to the cross.

I see your blood.

I see your face.

You see me.

Here am I, and there you are.

How can I slumber before your broken vessel?

How can I spit and defame your holy temple…

My body!

Sweet love, capture me once again and thrust me into thine own being. Rip asunder my sinfulness that holy fear be once again my waking knowledge. May the fortresses of the flesh fall, may the thrones of Hades cease their incessant blasphemy! May I be crucified side by side next to You! Enough with this rotten sin, enough with this putrid self! Fire to the hell bound creatures that torment the servants of the most High! May the nails of death pierce me right through, that I may live to life! Let the wipe of hell fall on this back that I may know the healing balm of Christ.

Crown me in agony, cut me to pieces, and set me free from self!

The fellowship of Your sufferings will be my blanket.

I rather die a thousand deaths before I forget your smile my King!

Amen

The 'Single' Christian

Caught up in the ever-present reality that to be whole is to be 'with' is to drive away the true Other who is always reaching, always moving and always being; the One we are confronted with. The lust of the eyes, of the flesh, and that consistent pride of life entangles even the most beautiful of souls, and much of this can be summed up in one word: self. As it is, we desire to embrace forever on our own terms; we want to be seen as immortal, powerful, belonging to and with someone and something; and one way to secure this is to secure a 'significant other' because we are truly not at peace with ourselves nor with our real Significant Other.

Single: a word that is clothed with the glare of a supernova on such sites like facebook and myspace, and a word that holds so much hope for the 'seeker' and so much shame for the 'hurting'. But what does it mean to be 'single' as a Christian? Interestingly enough, Paul the Apostle says the single life is the 'higher' life, though if one marries it is in no way a sin because marriage is of God and is for those who don't have the 'gift' of singleness.

"But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you of this. What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; those who morn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away." (1 Cor. 7:28b-31).

For Paul, the 'single' Christian is a whole Christian, one who is not divided in time or attention. But the majority of believers are called to bind themselves in the covenant of marriage with another. And the age old question is thus, "what should one do when they await for that time?"

Have fun in Him; enjoy Him; Seek Him in the other that is your brother and sister; and seek Him in the world: the widow, the homeless, the poor and oppressed.

Work on yourself, for many unconsciously seek a partner to cover their own insecurities.

And live, not searching for the other but searching for the Other.

"Please tell me I am beautiful!!!"

Funny, how duplicity strips us of our authenticity.

We glory in our strength rather than our weakness.We pride ourselves in our fabricated image, always seeking to assert our pseudo beauty in the face of the afflicted; trying to flex what we have so that we may be 'lifted up on high' in the hearts of the sons and daughters of Adam. We try and capture our 'best' with our optical devices, both eyes and technology, and seek to superimpose those captured moments on the minds of others, hoping they might take notice. We try very hard to showcase ourselves, saying "Look! Look at me!! Am I not pretty? Please tell me I am smart! Say that I am worth something! ... please."

We want to be longed for. We want to be seen.

We want to be affirmed. We want to be praised.

All of this because we believe we are juxtaposed to real glory, power, honor and success. We think we are in the shadow of giants. We truly believe we are ugly because we are supposedly too close to beauty.

A lie, and we believe in it.

Real glory and power; yes, real honor and majesty was flexed in the Person of Jesus. God glorified in weakness; God honored in humility; God showcased in brokeness.

A truth, and we believe in it not.

We are confronted with lies, in the midst of the whole lot of them, and we ourselves become the lie so that lie can recognize lie as self-glorifying, absolutely sexy, all pervasive and all together "truth".

But, "I am the Truth", say's the One who flexed in weakness. "I am a lie who proports the Lie and really believes I am truth!" retorts the one who flaunts in strength.

Our home is our mask. Our blanket - our fakeness! We desire the arms of lie to hold our weightless, shadow like, smoke like, vapor like hearts, hoping that Lie can make weighty and solid our shallowness.

"Repent" say's the Lord God: "I am the Truth, and I am the One who showcases Himself in humbling weakness and brokenness. I oppose the father of lies and his sons and daughters as well. When you image the world, you are imaging the father below. Ah, but if you image Me, allowing yourself to walk according to the image I made you in, then you will be truly human, affirmed by truth and covered in real strength. For do you really think that you are getting at your true identity by being like your 'brother and sister'? Do you really find yourself in the eyes of others? Is your mask, and your 'mingling' and so called 'social gatherings' really who you are and what your about? And do you believe that by simply 'hanging and being around Christians' saves you from such deception? The whole of my Church struggles with this! Reality is the hardest thing for my children to live in; they find it so hard to be real, though I am more real and solid than the hardest of rocks!

"Turn to Me and I will make you real, not like the way the world is, but like the way of My Son. Don't seek the highest position and honor, nor seek the best seat in your social gatherings. Don't desire to flex in front of others, especially when your showcase consist of pseudo spirituality! Don't ever believe that because you are in this church or that, or you are with this pastor or that, or that you are doing this ministry or that, that you are any more real than a 'three dollar bill'! Carry your cross by suffering the removal of your status and popularity. Stop believing the lie that you will only get with so and so if you show your best side! Was not My best side to you in the face of mangled, dehuminized flesh in the person of My dear Son Jesus? Did I win you over by my 'good looks' and charm, or was it with the flashing of power and poise, smiles and flowers? Those who seek to save themselves will no doubt forfeit all. For what good is it to gain it all, popularity, status, fame, and exaltation, and lose the only real thing about you, your soul? Repent!"

A Tribute to Joseph

The voice of an angel of the Lord that uttered words that would calm his turning heart and sooth his burning soul is indeed the affirmation of fatherhood: “Joseph, son of David, don’t be afraid to take Mary as your wife, because what has been conceived in her is by the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to name Him Jesus, because He will save His people from their sins.” That voice was the vessel of hope for Joseph, a vessel that spoke of coming hardship. Yet Joseph stood the test and fathered a Son that was His Lord.

We tend to think of Joseph sometimes in an insignificant light, but woe unto us if we forget his role as the loving one who helped bare the promise of hope and joy. “When Joseph got up from sleeping, he did as the Lord’s angel had commanded him. He married her but did not know her intimately until she gave birth to a son. And he named Him Jesus.”

In His Divinity, the infant Jesus was King of the Cosmos, but in His humanity, He was the child of both Mary and Joseph. Though birthed by the overshadowing power of the Spirit of God, Jesus nevertheless had a father that would tuck Him in at night, provide for Him, sing to Him, teach Him his family and his religion, and raise Him to be the Man that we would come to know as King of kings and Lord of lords.

When this holy family abided in Egypt, it was Joseph who had to accustom himself to the cultural shift and the linguistical change, and it was he who had to ‘go out’ and secure security. From the line of David came forth a man who would fatherly love and protect the promised seed to Eve, Christ our Lord.

And when they returned to Israel by command of an angel sent from God, Joseph once again had to make the appropriate shift, seeking out security for the family he himself lead, a family that would be known for all eternity.

And who did Jesus learn His trade from? How did Jesus learn how to work with hammer and nail, with wood and metal? As He would gaze at His father toiling under the curse, by the sweat of his brow, producing with his hands all manner of wooded creations, would this not bespeak of His Father in Heaven, the One who created all that the eye can see and the ear can here? Joseph moved so much like His Father; Joseph was a beautiful example of His Eternal Dad.

And when Jesus grew up to be a man, much of what He did he learned from Joseph.

Joseph, the father figure for Jesus, the father figure for the Lord of fathers!

Joseph, the barer of the weight of toil and pain, was the image for the Lord who bore the World on that Tree.

Joseph, the forgotten father, honored by the Father of lights, is our model - for leaders, for promise keepers, for protectors, for soldiers, for all. May Joseph always be remembered for His bravery, faithfulness, love and obedience, and may he be honored in all of Christendom. Amen.

A Tribute to Mary

A great and wondrous sign appeared in heaven: woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet and a crown of twelve stars on her head. She was pregnant and cried out in pain as she was about to give birth.... She gave birth to a son, a male child, who will rule all the nations with an iron scepter. And her child was snatched up to God and to his throne.... Then the dragon was enraged at the woman and went off to make war against the rest of her offspring – those who obey God’s commandments and hold to the testimony of Jesus. (Revelation 12)

When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped in her womb, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. In a loud voice she exclaimed: “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear! But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? (Luke 1:41-43).

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When the believer proclaims the Lordship of Jesus, such a proclamation is couched in the preconditioned reality of Mary’s obedience. If Christ is indeed God enfleshed in humanity, fully human and at once fully Divine, then we must perceive Mary to be the Mother of God. Christ was truly born of Mary, the virgin from the line of King David, though Christ the Eternal Logos always was, eternally begotten of the Father. Such a seemingly paradoxical reality could be impossible to fathom completely, but it is our duty to dive into the mystery it is.

The advent season reminds us of this impossible moment in time and space, when God Himself took upon humble, weak, frail and poor human flesh and clothed himself with it. Nay, he does much more than merely ‘clothes’ Himself, he becomes it! One ought to shudder at this thought

When I behold the Virgin with Child, I see the affirmation of motherhood. I see the love of a mother magnified and exalted in holy purity, adorned with the soft gaze of grace. I see the womb as the storehouse of the Divine. To think, the great I AM dwelt in finitude, nourished by her, loved by her, kept safe by her, and even cherished by her. In ancient times God came on a mountain to meet His people, and that mountain shook with great violence, with flames and smoke all around. Now, God dwells in the womb of a young girl!

And she already felt the brash heat of public scorn once her pregnancy was out. Shame was her surroundings and distrusts her abode. Indeed, she was perhaps the first Christian, the true model of the Church, for she knew what it was to bare a Divine promise and have those around laugh and scorn.

And on that day she brought forth a baby boy born under the law, at once bringing forth the Architect and Eternal One who spoke all that exists into existence. Miracle of miracles! May Mary be remembered, and may she forever be honored in all Christian circles.

All in All

Jesus: it’s that simple. God in the flesh, yet complete in his humanity.

Perfect in his humanity; perfect in His Divinity.

Fully God; fully man: one person: Jesus of Nazareth, Son of the Living God.


The implications of this profound truth are staggering. For when the Roman soldiers were pounding the old, rusty nails into the historical man Jesus of Nazareth, they were also piercing the One who is the Lord of Life; the very One who gave them the ability to make the cognitive decision to do so, and the physiological and anatomical capacity to carry through such an act.

When they were lacerating the back of the Nazarene, they were in fact ripping apart the abode of the One who intricately stitched their cells together to form the epidermis of their own very backs.

When they completely crucified the Son of Mary, the half brother of James, and the friend and Rabbi of the 12 disciples, this mysterious man called Jesus, son of Joseph, they were truly crucifying the One who “is the radiance of [God’s] glory, the exact expression of His nature…”, the One who “is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn over all creation…”, and the One who is before all things and holds all things together.

All of created order was made through Him and for Him! All things come from, are sustained by, and find their purpose in Him. Thus when they spat on him, mocked him and belittled him, they were in effect spitting on their origin, their sustainer, and their completion. They were in fact mocking their goal, their purpose, and the very ground of their being. They actually belittled their reason for existing!

When the crowd laughed at him, they were de facto laughing at the One who is the reason for existence!

He is All in all, yet he is one of us.

We brought him pride and arrogance, and he returned to us love and forgiveness.

He is the Lion of the Tribe of Judah, yet he is the slaughtered Lamb; this is the Lamb who is filled with the fullness of the Spirit of God! (Revelation 5)

He is the way.

Christian

What does it mean to be a Christian? 

We tend to seek, many a time, to find our identity in the subtle nuance of the world. We are pulled by the enchanting song of the Domination System that is the world. We are brought to our knees, usually seeking to be

Honored 

Glorified 

Praised 

Exalted 

and lifted high above those who are in our immediate circle. We want to be noticed. We want to be approved, validated and affirmed. We want to be in the eyes of those around us. We desire to stand out, to be seen, to be applauded! We want to be the ones “whom the world loves,” rather than, like my close friend Rich articulated in one of his sermons, “the one whom Jesus loves.” 

This is the ‘flesh’. What is the flesh? This is it: that fallen aspect of our entire (not just physical) being that desires to find its sustenance on the breast of the world, desiring to drink deeply of her blasphemy, of her putrid pleasures, of her lusts and glory; and to be draped and robed in her banner: “Take what you want, for all is yours and you are honored by our adoration!” 

What does it mean to be a Christian? 

A Christian is one who finds her identity, her true image, in the eyes of the Father. One who sees herself in His eyes, her very reflection in the eyes of Abba, Father? 

There are those who see themselves in the mirror of the world. 

There are those who see themselves in the reflection of their friends, family, coworkers and bosses, and television. 

These are the ones who, at the end of the day, are left lacking, hungry and alone. These are the ones who were hoping to be seen and affirmed by someone who is not the Personification of Love. 

The Christian, however, is one who sees herself in the eyes of the One who is the very Incarnation of God: Love Personified. To see yourself in the eyes of perfect, true love is to see yourself as one who is complete, whole, beautiful, accepted, validated, affirmed, celebrated, cherished, and one who is the apple of His eye: you are the beloved! 

And what happens when one sees herself in His eyes? She, the Christian, is now brought home. She is at peace. She is resting in His arms. 

And why does the world find no rest? Simply because she is trying to mimic the image of the beast, while all the while she is made in the Image of God. The world, whom He came to die for, will find simple repose in the smile of her creator, for to see herself in His eyes is to see herself truly, for she is made in His Image. 

What is the true Image? Jesus Christ. 

How does one see oneself in His eyes? Scripture is called a mirror (the perfect law of liberty) in which you are to look intently. And prayer is communion with the One who is at the Center of the Universe and the determiner of all existence. In addition, the Eucharist, the Lord’s Supper, is where we ingest His flesh and His blood: His very life giving Spirit. 

…..

What does it mean to be a Christian? 

It means to wash the feet of your brothers and sisters. If He did it, so must we, for He is the better way. 

It means taking the fall for someone else. If He did it, so must we, for He is the better way. 

It means receiving and absorbing the pain someone inflicts on you, the injustice of insult and the death of character. If He did it, so must we, for He is the better way. 

It means seeking the low path, the last place, and the servant position rather than what the world desires: the high path, the first place and the leader position. 

….. 

What does it mean to be a Christian? 

It means following Him, being as He was when He walked the Earth. 

“Look at Him Walk!” “Come… follow Me.” 

“Look at Him heal!” “Come… follow Me.” 

“Look at Him weep!” “Come… follow Me.” 
“Look at Him eating and drinking with sinners and gluttons!” “Come… follow me.” 

“Look at Him rejoicing!” “Come…follow Me.” 

“Look at Him live!” “Come…. Follow Me.” 

“Look at Him die!” “Come…. Follow Me.” 

“Look at Him!” “Come… follow Me.” 

True Passion

Within us all lays a desire that, if left unchecked will overtake us. It drives our waking visions, and our sleepless nights. It speaks to us in the dark and in the light. 

This desire, this deep yearning, is our drive, our hunger and our urgent longing. If we could, we would fling off the shackles of societal norms and image-keeping and surge forward into fulfilling this great desire, this passion… 

But we dare not. 

We stay where we are. The dreams that echo our existence and that reverberate within the caverns of our hearts are silenced for the ‘betterment’ of the populace and the social conscience. 

But it calls us. 

It whispers our name, identifying us.

This longing that propels us seems to be ‘illogical,’ daring us to do the unthinkable. It speaks contrary to the populace, to the ‘church’, to the religious and secular. It is a mad desire. And it is consuming us slowly. 

It dares us to be clothed with the sunset. 
It dares us to cover ourselves with the laughter of children, and it pulls us toward untold beauties of celestial abodes. 

It knows us. It calls us by name. And if we could, we would follow it. We would follow the voice, that desire, that longing, that passion, but we dare not. 

We dare not because, if we admit to not following it already, we admit the fact that we were all the while lost, cold, and ones who have forgotten their first love. 

Nevertheless, it continues to call us. And we hunger for it. 

Here is what it says:

“Why do you run to the alter to ‘enter into my presence’ when, before coming into my house, you pushed me aside when I asked for food on the corner?” 

“Why do you seek me in fasting and in prayer, longing to see my face and feel my touch, while I lay sick in the hospital, desiring YOUR face and your touch?”

“Why do you praise me with ‘all that you have,’ singing songs to me and worshiping me (so you think), while all the while I sit alone, no one visiting me, longing to hear your voice and song in the cold, dark room of this foreign home; this place where I am with the broken in mind and spirit?”

“Why do you speak of my love and how it has ‘saved you’, yet, with the same tongue, you curse me to my face, speak behind my back, and destroy my image? Don’t you know that they are made in my image?” 

“Why do you say you long to be clothed and infused with my Spirit and love, yet, in utter contradiction, you don’t even look at my face nor acknowledge my hurt on the train when I come asking for money?” 

This deep yearning and longing that tugs on the fabric of our being and burns at the core of our existence, seeks us; nay, it chases us. 

We can’t sleep anymore. 
There is no more rest. 
We are alone, for 
We have
Left Him
Alone. 

“I want you. I long for you. I sing and dance over you, yet you do not move to My rhythm; you don’t desire a dance with Me. I bleed from My hands, from My feet, and from My side, yet you don’t try to cover Me, bandage Me, nor seek medicine for Me. I ask you to take Me in, to set a banquet for Me and My broken friends, yet you say you are too busy for Me. You leave Me and My family on the street, in the homes, at the jails and in the hospitals, and you say you seek My Presence, My company and My healing touch? I am confused! Don’t you see that when you come to heal My family and I, and My friends and I, that you yourself and your family and friends will be made whole? Don’t you see you were made for Me, and I for you?” 

He dares us to follow the longing, our true passion. 

We desire to weep on His bosom, yet we push the chest and body away that is adorned with sores, wounds, and putrid odors. 

We seek to wash His feet with our tears, yet we don’t seek to comfort the ones who have lost feeling in their feet, or lost their legs all together. 

We long to dine with Him, yet we don’t desire the broken and lonely ones, the sick and afraid ones at our tables and in our houses. 

The non-persons of society stretch out their arms to embrace us, yet we smirk, laugh, shun and flee from them to be embraced by the arms of Him? 

God is not mocked. 

Let us seek Him, truly. 
This is our Passion.

In His Steps...

The mystery of God cannot be found in the power structure of the world, with all of her pomp and lofty zeals. It is not found in power, strength, domination, and glory. The mystery of God is found in the broken, in the rejected. In the 'alone' ones; individuals who are despised, hurting, crying and afflicted. 

He became one of them, one of us, that, by His union with us, He may break the cycle of bondage, pain and all manner of destruction. 

God became man that man may taste of the Divine. 

We do not have a God who possesses a "Zeus Complex", looking down from unhigh and merely sending forth his pity, perhaps even weeping from afar. 

Instead, we have One who, by virtue of the Blessed Incarnation, shows us His tears, His scars, His pain... for our pain, our scars and our tears. 

God in the flesh, that Man may behold Divine tears. 
God in full humanity, that we may be able to be comfortable in our skin. 
God with Man, amongst man, speaking to man, that we may receive Him in all of our senses.

"That which was from the beginning, which we have heard, which we have seen with our eyes, which we have looked upon, and our hands have handled, concerning the Word of life..." -1 John 1:1

And as He was sent, so does He send us. So let us not be invisible to the world. Let us not pity the world from afar. Let us not look 'down' on the world and perhaps weep from afar. 

Instead, let us become visible to the world, to embrace her brokeness, weeping and struggles. With unvailed faces, the world will see Divine tears through our eyes! The world will handle us, hear us, see us and behold His glory. 

And let the world do what she will to us! Indeed, she will mock us! She will break us! She will laugh at us! She will spit on us, kill us, and despise our tears! 

Did we not do the same to Him before His love swallowed us whole? 

Let our tears speak to the world, as His did to us. Let our blood draw nigh the world, as His did us. Let our pain sing to the world, as His did us. 

This is the mystery of God.

God Came to Wash our Feet!

What manner of love trancends our frail concept of Divine Power, humbling itself to that which is but dust, intricate dust of the Earth, and receive the blows and nails of fallen creatures?!?!?? 

It is one thing to say that God, in His omnipotence, created all that exists, seen and unseen, and it is quite another thing to say that in His omnipotence He descended and took the abode of soft flesh and sinews to taste the tears we taste! 

This love came to receive our pain, our hurts, our fears and our loneliness. This love came to serve; the God of the cosmos came to take basin and towel... and wash our feet!!!! 

You know not love? You need not look far! 

Christ, the power of God and the wisdom of God.

Before You

My soul is set ablaze, utterly transformed by your penetrating beauty. My longing for you consumes me. I want you. I need you. I want to breathe you in… I want you to be my center.

I want you my God.

No words, not even tears of joy can express what I desire; it is you that I want. Only deep silence and repose coupled with groans too profound to utter can only begin to express my yearning for you.

Can language or gestures or anything in all created order communicate my sole desire for you? How all of these fail me! Only your very own Spirit can do such a work.

Give me words to express my love for you my King.

Strengthen my frame that I may be able to stand before you, before your love.

When you come to me, when you caress my skin, velvet to the touch, my soul quivers and my being writhes in agonizing love.

How I long for you! Better I be if I were a man in the desert far from his loved ones and water. Such conditions would be paradise compared to the distressing, destructive and disastrous reality of being separated from you, my Beloved.

I want to take you in.

Be my center.

It is not enough to simply think about you, nor is it even right to discuss you far from reverent fear and awe.

Consume me totally; take all of me; transfigure me completely.

Before you I am like one dead. I cease to be, yet I, Joseph, the true me found in you is birthed, fashioned into your likeness and formed into your image.

Before you I am whole.

Cloth me with your love; cover every inch of my existence in your light and life.

Consume me.

I am before you.

My Ontology: Christian, a Disciple of Christ

From the Epistle to Diognetus:

"The difference between Christians and the rest of mankind is not a matter of nationality, or language, or customs. Christians do not live apart in separate cities of their own, speak any special dialect, nor practice any eccentric way of life. The doctrine they profess is not the invention of busy human minds and brains, nor are they, like some, adherents of this or that school of human thought. They pass their lives in whatever township - Greek or foreign - each man's lot has determined; and conform to ordinary local usage in their clothing, diet, and other habits. Nevertheless, the organization of their community does exhibit some features that are remarkable, and even surprising. For instance, though they are residents at home in their own countries, their behaviour there is more like that of transients; they take their full part as citizens, but they also submit to anything and everything as if they were aliens. For them, any foreign country is a motherland, and any motherland is a foreign country. Like other men, they marry and beget children, though they do not expose their infants. Any Christian is free to share his neighbour's table, but never his marriage- bed. Though destiny has placed them here in the flesh, they do not live after the flesh; their days are passed on the earth, but their citizenship is above in the heavens. They obey the prescribed laws, but in their own private lives they transcend the laws. They show love to all men - and all men persecute them. They are misunderstood, and condemned; yet by suffering death they are quickened into life. They are poor, yet making many rich; lacking all things, yet having all things in abundance. They are dishonoured, yet made glorious in their very dishonour; slandered, yet vindicated. They repay calumny with blessings, and abuse with courtesy. For the good they do, they suffer stripes as evildoers; and under the strokes they rejoice like men given new life.... "

To put it briefly, the relation of Christians to the world is that of a soul to the body. As the soul is diffused through every part of the body, so are Christians through all the cities of the world. The soul, too, inhabits the body, while at the same time forming no part of it; and Christians inhabit the world, but they are not part of the world. The soul, invisible herself, is immured within a visible body; so Christians can be recognized in the world, but their Christianity itself remains hidden from the eye. The flesh hates the soul, and wars against her without any provocation, because she is an obstacle to its own self-indulgence; and the world similarly hates the Christians without provocation, because they are opposed to its pleasures. All the same, the soul loves the flesh and all its members, despite their hatred for her; and Christians, too, love those who hate them. The soul, shut up inside the body, nevertheless holds the body together; and though they are confined within the world as in a dungeon, it is Christians who hold the world together. The soul, which is immortal, must dwell in a mortal tabernacle; and Christians, as they sojourn for a while in the midst of corruptibility here, look for incorruptibility in the heavens. Finally, just as to be stinted of food and drink makes for the soul's improvement, so when Christians are every day subjected to ill- treatment, they increase the more in numbers. Such is the high post of duty in which God has placed them, and it is their moral duty not to shrink from it."